If you know me at all, you know that this whole “self love” movement has me cringing like crazy. Simply because it is not really Biblical. Now, the Bible says to love others as you love yourself. This implies that there is some sort of love we have for ourselves. I guess enough love to feed and clothe ourselves and care whether or not we die! However, God says to love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength. We are supposed to die to ourselves! Now, do I think that this means we should be self-loathing people who don’t take care of ourselves? No way! All of this is to say, moderation, folks. Christ-love is what we should be most focused on, and trust me, if you focus on Him, you will feel the peace and comfort you are seeking when you turn to self-care/self-love books.
Speaking of which! There is a book I read a long while ago… I am sure you have heard of it. Rachel Hollis’s “Girl, Wash Your Face”. Now, I am not a fan of this book- cue collective rage amongst 75% of the hipster Christian generation. I know, I know. Instead of me harping on all of the not only non-Biblical, but also dangerous thoughts and advice given in this book, let me just say, do a Google search. Research and pray for yourself about it!
I am actually not here to knock that book believe it or not. I am here to discuss a nugget of truth I have repeated to myself from that book since reading it! Yes, something positive from this book that I, for the most part, disagree with. That nugget of truth is this: “Someone else’s opinion of you is none of your business.”
Stop. Go back… read it again.
That quote might not have even stuck out to most other readers, but I believe one of the few (if not the only) reasons the Lord allowed me to crack open this largely heretical book was to read this spark of truth. My mind was blown when I read that. As someone who overanalyzes the junk out of almost every single word, look, whisper, stare, conversation, etc., etc. etc., this phrase has freed my mind in numerous situations.
Now, hear me out, if you are someone who has bad rapport with almost everyone and it comes back to you that you are difficult to deal with and people generally do not like you, then maybe it is time to look in the mirror, pray, and ask God to help you become who you were meant to be so you can fulfill His will for your life and, ultimately, His Kingdom. But generally, if you are anything like me, this phrase is going to free your mind like you won’t even believe.
Someone gave you a weird look and you are stewing over it on your car ride desperately trying to think what you could have done to illicit that response… what could it mean? Hey, check it out…. NOT your business. Move on.
At a family reunion, you say something or reprimand your child, and you see some whispers in the kitchen. Are they talking about you? I bet it is about… STOP! NOT. YOUR. BUSINESS.
The only opinion you need to care about is Jesus’. That’s it. Simple in theory, but difficult in practice. As long as you are doing what you believe the Lord has led you to do, no one else’s opinion matters.
This blog is called “Confessions of a Christian Momma”, so here comes the confession part: I don’t often find myself lying awake at night worrying about God’s opinion of me, whether or not I offended Him, thinking of how my next conversation with Him will go better because I will make the effort. Do you? He is the most important being in the universe, and yet we will not lie awake caring about His opinion. We will, however, care deeply about the opinions of people, fallible people.
So if I can encourage you with just one thing from Rachel’s book, which I don’t recommend reading unless you do so with discernment as if you are reading a completely secular book, it is that nugget of truth. Focus on the one and only opinion that matters in every area of your life- God’s. The reason I mention every area of your life is because the school year is about to begin, and it is so easy for us as parents to begin the yearly push for our kids. Achieve! Achieve! Achieve! Whether it’s excellence in sports, excellence in music/art, excellence in math, excellence in reading, etc., this obsessive, unhealthy focus on achievement is breeding a generation of prideful, anxious, self-worshipping children who base their identities in the boxes they’ve checked off. Not only is this not Biblical, but look around! It certainly isn’t creating better, more loving and selfless people willing to fight for the Lord.
Eyes off ourselves. Eyes on the King. Because only His opinion is our business.
“If then you have been raised with Christ, seek the things that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God.” Colossians 3:1 (ESV)
Confessions of a Christian Momma 